Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
