youre lurking in front of me
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I have feelings that need drinking.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
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