We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
