i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize
