I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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