he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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