You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
