so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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