party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
