Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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