If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
false alarm, still single
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
You did what with his pubic hair?
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