I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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