I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
