Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
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