Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
