sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Randomize
