I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
How naked do you want me to be?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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