am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
