i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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