Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Randomize