She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
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