I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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