I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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