I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Randomize