the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
