i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
