Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
