Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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