the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
