I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize
