Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize