i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize