if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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