Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
