remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
