You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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