There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
