I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
