My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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