hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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