Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
