I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Randomize
