I can text with my tongue
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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