So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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