You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Randomize
