I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
