You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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