Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
When did angry sex become our thing?
The uberlube is also flammable
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize