Can i not drive my cunt home
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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