I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Randomize
