Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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