The brown eye won't let me do that either.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
