Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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