I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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