I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
