My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
