you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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