I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
