I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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