i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize
