Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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