never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
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